Stop Saying "But" and
Start Saying "And"
May 17, 2022
Do you ever catch yourself saying things like, “I love that idea, but we need to do it differently?”
As soon as you say the word “but,” the other person immediately forgets the part about you loving the idea. Because you completely invalidated it with the “but” and everything that came after it. Instead, use “and:” “I love that idea, and I think a slightly different approach would be most effective.” Hear the difference?
In her book Bossypants, Tina Fey breaks down the rules of improv. One of those rules is to always say “yes, and….” This shows respect for what your partner has to say (even if you don’t agree), helps you keep an open mind about the act, and invites you to contribute to the conversation by building on the other person’s idea or adding your own ideas. Same goes for communicating at work.